Smash That Sucker Flat

This film begins with the second-place winner for strangest opening image we've ever featured. (First place goes to the video with the doll-humping scene. But that's another story.) In this case, we see two lovely bikini-clad ladies - Jordan and Savannah - having a fierce boxing match while wearing gloves the size of Volkswagens. They also have to deal with the most annoying boxing trainer since Burgess Meredith: tom the terrible. The girl/girl boxing scenes are weird but cool. And they are very violent. But - you guessed it - the gals finally take offense at tom's irritating instructions, so they start to pummel HIM. WHAM! They have him on the ground, begging for mercy. Believe me, those heavy gloves really hurt, especially after the first 400-or-so blows. You've never seen any human being subjected to a pummeling like this. Naturally, that's not all: While the girls catch their breath, they use the opportunity to rob their victim of whatever air he has left. Imagine a brutal combination of facesitting and stomach-punching. They literally want to knock this stupid sunvabitch out. Just watch him stagger! It's for real! And it is ferocious! When he's finally down for the count, they celebrate their triumph with yet more twat-suffocation.